Nothing and Everything

Kind of an extension of my thoughts on transitions... Still in a middle ground/ floundering really, as to what life (should that be in quotations?) has in store for me. Yes, me. Vain me... I have been swinging from opposite ends of two extremes. Like a trapeze artist hovering above the abyss~ no net? Yes, a net.. Is He my net? What am I holding onto? I certainly have not been using the commandment of surrender very well. I guess I am holding onto my old expectations , fear and doubt.

Sigh....

They.. whoever "they" are.. say that moving is one of those BIG transitions that are so stressful on a couple. Seriously. As IF this last year + a few months haven't been so trying? Is the move good? Will He allow it? What is to come of it? Why , why , why am I not at peace?

I am supposing that at this point is it more Me and my fears ruling over me that are the reason for the feelings of unease. I've prayed as well as I could about it. Maybe that's a lie. Quite frankly, I am still mad. Oh what a job He has with me. I should probably reread that book I wrote about eons ago called "Better Than My Dreams".

** Knowing something in your head is entirely different than knowing it in your heart as truth, however.** I do believe I am living in my head right now and not trusting Him to take care of me. So the reason for this post. The hope that getting this darkness out of me and into the Light will help shake me up to see the reality.